The Top 15 Reasons For Being Fired From Toys 'R' Us
15> A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector
set, if you know what I mean.
14> Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head
in an Easy Bake Oven and
threaten to "end it all."
13> You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego
bricks.
12> Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy"
display.
11> You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the
Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
10> Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're
the new "Jerry Springer" edition.
9> The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
8> Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
7> Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
6> Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey
the Giraffe.
5> Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you
jackknifed a Big Wheel.
4> Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was
"homemade Gack."
3> Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear
Holocaust Malibu" was not
exactly an overwhelming success.
2> Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe
in a leather bar.
and the Number 1 Reason For Being Fired From Toys 'R' Us...
1> Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I R on break."
