10. Recycle bin: infringes on Rubbermaid's line of waste receptacles.
9.  Icons: the Russian Orthodox Church has been making icons for 2,000
years.
8.  DOS prompt: unfair competition with Unix.
7.  Windows Explorer: Ford claims likely product-line confusion with its
sport-utility vehicles.
6.  Desktop wallpaper: unfair to Taylor Wall Coverings.
5.  CD player control: makes your PC the world's most expensive CD player;
Bang & Olufssen claims that trade as its own.
4.  Volume control: infringes on Radio Shack's knob and slider business.
3.  Calculator: competes with Hewlett-Packard.
2.  Minesweeper: undermines U.S. Navy recruiting programs.
1.  All the Easter eggs in Windows that say "Janet Reno is the Antichrist":
better safe than sorry...

 
                    5.  Suddenly Alex Trebek doesn't give a damn
                      whether anybody phrases their answers in the
                      form of a question
 
                      4.Bob Barker has been neutered (I'm sorry, that's
                      a sign the game show host you're watching is
                      fixed)
 
                     3. The winning contestant always seems to be looking down.

                       2.It's "Family Feud" and the Quayles win
 
                      1.Please welcome, our returning champion:
                      Forrest Gump

                    Top Ten Signs the Guy Hijacking Your
                       Plane Has Never Hijacked Before
 
                      10. His so-called "gun" has a very strong licorice
                      smell
 
                      9.Asks flight attendant, "Is this a hijacking or no
                      hijacking section?"
 
                      8.Writes his name and address on little card so
                      he can get free subscription to in-flight magazine
 
                     7. His only demand: More peanuts!
 
                      6.On his way up to cockpit, flight attendant says
                      he's not allowed in first class, so he sheepishly
                      goes back to his seat
 
                     5. His nametag says "Hijacker Trainee"

                    4.He keeps looking at a map to see if he can find Cuba.
 
                   3.Keeps muttering something about how hijacking
                      is like a box of chocolates
 
                    2. Introduced to the captain, he demands to meet
                      Tenille.
 
                    1.  He called a bail bond before he hijacked the plain.

                   Top Ten Signs You're an Overweight Cop
 
                      10.You spend a lot of your time trying to apprehend
                      Big Macs.
 
                     9. You have two holsters: One for your gun, one for
                      Italian Sausage.
 
                      8.The last time you saw your feet, "Kojak" was on
                      in prime time.
 
                     7. Instead of yelling "Freeze!," you yell "Fritos!"
 
                      6.Even patrol car's big block engine can't propel
                      you more than 30 mph.
 
                      5.You sometimes work undercover as a sofa.
 
                      4.You take the phrase "Take a bite out of crime"
                      too literally.
 
                      3.Several times a year, rescue workers have to
                      use jaws of life to get you out of your squad car.
 
                      2.Your ass is known as the fourth precinct.
 
                      1.You're frequently used as a roadblock.