I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me!
Good job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police
officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad cop!  No donut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's
nightstand
.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to
work at
McDonald's?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, Officer!  That's terrific!  The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!

Do you know why you pulled me over?  Okay, just so one of us
does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic.  Yes, I know there is no other car

around--that's how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?"  You're the trained
specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell
off my
lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal,
forcing me to
speed out of control.

Hey, is that a 9mm?  That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?

Whatever you do, don't search my trunk

What exactly is "legally drunk"?

So, what's a good bribe go for around here?

Do you know where I can buy a good radar detector?

If you think this car's fast wait until you see my corvette!

Can you just put that ticket in the large box in the back seat with the
 reast of my tickets?

Boy I'm surprised your hear dunkin doughnuts is having a 3 for 1 sale

Can you hurry up your wife is expecting me

Can you hurry up the  liquor store closes in five min.

No I don't know how fast I was going the speed gage stops at 110 .