Murphy's Law's

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   1.Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.
  2.Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think.
  3.Murphy's Third Law: In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go
     wrong will go wrong.
  4.Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,
     the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
  5.Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
  6.Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in
     which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way,
     unprepared for, will promptly develop.
  7.Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to
     worse.
  8.Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have
     obviously overlooked something.
  9.Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
 10.Murphy's Tenth Law: Mother Nature is a bitch.
  11.Murphy's Eleventh Law: It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because
     fools are so ingenious.
 12.Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap
     than a thin person.
 13.Nick the Greek's Law of Life: All things considered, life is 9 to 5 against.
 14.Nowlan's Theory: He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the
     next freeway exit.
 15.Van Roy's Law: Honesty is the best policy - there's less competition.
 16.Van Roy's Truism: Life is a whole series of circumstances beyond your
     control.
 17.Agnes' Law: Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
 18.Clarke's Conclusion: Never let your sense of morals interfere with doing the
     right thing.
 19.Goda's Truism: By the time you get to the point where you can make ends
     meet, somebody moves the ends.
 20.Johnny Carson's Definition: The smallest interval of time known to man is
     that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and
     the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
 21.Wilner's Observation: All conversations with a potato should be conducted in
     private.
 22.The Phone Booth Rule: A lone dime always gets the number nearly right.
 23.Zall's Laws: (1) Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you
     do will be wrong. (2) How long a minute is, depends on which side of the
     bathroom door you're on.
 24.Ettore's Observation: The other line moves faster.
 25.Griffin's Thought: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
 26.Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong
     conclusion with confidence.
 27.Cann's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
 28.Macaluso's Doctrine: You've never been as sick as just before you stop
     breathing.
 29.Knebel's Law: It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the
     leading causes of statistics.
 30.The Law of Selective Gravity, or the Buttered-Side Down Law: An object
     will fall so as to do the most damage.
 31.Stale's Law: No matter how careful one is in resealing the inner liner in a
     cereal box, it will tear where it is glued to the box.
 32.William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be
     solved by brute strength and ignorance.