SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please
see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T.
list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all the
S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P
S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have
to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our
managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to
do
S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others. We
can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get
the
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY
PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING