people you're waiting for your document.
2.Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't
have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling
during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire
potatoes.
3.Insist that your e-mail address be
"zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com"
4.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them
to sign a waiver.
5.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them
if they want fries with that.
6.Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin
until they're all present.
7.Come to work in your pajamas.
8.Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
9.Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the
same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss
does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a
different gender than you are.)
10.Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to
them only by these names. "That's a good point
Sparky." "No, I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree
with you there, Chachi."
11.Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover
page for all reports that you write. (If you don't have
children, draw stick figures yourself.)
12.Schedule meetings for 4:14 p.m.
13.Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
synchronized chair dancing.
14.Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it
at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
15.Send email to the rest of the company telling them what
you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be
in the bathroom."
16.No matter what anyone asks you, reply "OK".
17.Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN"
18.Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
19.Grow mold in you coffee cup.
20.Develop an unatural fear of staplers.
21.Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
22."Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost
your shoes since you did this.
23.Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
24.Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and
Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
25.For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask
and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out
your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your
mouth.
26.Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to
espresso.
